I’m fairly certain I got ripped off. It’s my own fault. Dicking around on eBay in the middle of the night — as I do — I came across a Ukranian seller with a two-disc bootleg of Kyuss at the Opera House in Toronto from 1994. What was I supposed to do? The cover didn’t look like it was from the inkjet that had run out of blue, and Kyuss boots don’t pop up that often. I thought maybe it was a Cold War black market leftover, maybe someone found it in a Soviet footlocker or something. Whatever. I wanted to make it mine.

The bidding got stupid. I waited, as I usually do, until the last minute, and in that time, it went up past $50. I set limits for myself — I have to — and that was beyond mine, so I let it go. I woke up the next day, still bummed, skulked around most of the afternoon, and then found an email from the seller in my inbox saying, “Oh hey, the guy who won backed out, do you still want it at your high bid?” My high bid was $47, which, with the $5 shipping would put it over $50. I said I’d take it.

Now, here’s my question: Was there really another bidder, or was it just this shady motherfucker on the other end of the email trying to drive up the price? It’s not a bad racket, right? “Oh, hey, that other dude flaked, I’ll give it to you at the ridiculous amount of money you were apparently willing to spend,” and meanwhile, he’s the one clicking “Increase bid” the whole time. In all my time on eBay, I’d never had something like this happen before, where the buyer split and the seller offered it to the second highest bidder. And I’ve been second highest plenty of times.

At the end of the day, it didn’t matter. I paid for The Opera House, Toronto, Canada 1994/10/30 and set about waiting for it to come, hoping that the insult to injury wouldn’t just be the discs never showing up. They came. It’s CDRs, which is meh but ultimately not that much of a concern for me, and well-printed inkjet covers, but when I put the discs on to listen in the office — because a CDR from the Ukraine is most certainly not working in my car player — they had the two-second pause in between the tracks, meaning that when this jerk or whichever jerk actually downloaded and burned these files to CD, they couldn’t even be bothered to click “Gapless.”

It’s happened to me before, too. The edition of Black Sabbath‘s godly Asbury Park 1975 show I have is inkjet/gapped CDR, and just like with that, I feel like a fucking idiot every time I listen to the Opera House 1994 Kyuss show. It’s an audience recording, not terrible, not great, but as each song ends and there’s that long hiccup of silence, it totally kills the experience. Bootleg sound has its charm, but having paid $50-plus for what will basically sit on my shelf and gather dust because just hearing it sucks has all the appeal of a pineapple prostate exam.

Never underestimate a human being’s capacity to fuck over another human being. I knew I should’ve stuck to the radio promos. Lesson (probably not) learned.

I know in the past it’s been “here’s so-and-so’s first bio,” but, well, there was this promo for And the Circus Leaves Town, and there was text on the back that I couldn’t read in the eBay listing shot, and so I had to make it mine. Reading it, you can really get the sense of how on the brink of mainstream success Elektra Records believed Kyuss was going into their last album, and in light of the just-announced Kyuss Lives! dates, I thought I’d post this for anyone else who might be interested. Click the image to enlarge it:

I think that Josh Homme quote at the end is my favorite part. You never really know if that’s the artist or the PR person saying that kind of thing in band bios, but it’s a cool and succinct summary of Kyuss‘ sound, with just a hint of arrogance for good measure, so I’d believe it. Also dig that “Thee Ol’ Boozerooney” is spelled wrong (or right) in the tracklisting. Nerdy fun.

Because I’ve already expelled as many words as my brain can handle today, I’ll be blunt: I cannot fucking wait for when Kyuss Lives! plays NYC. I don’t care it’s not a full reunion. I don’t care about whatever else, I want to see these dudes play these songs, and whatever to everything else.

Looks like even more people than we thought are going to get the chance to see them, too. Dig the new list of dates off the PR wire:

Kyuss Lives! — featuring original Kyuss members John Garcia, Nick Oliveri and Brant Bjork along with guitarist Bruno Fevery — will unleash their desert rock fury on North America for the first time in over 15 years this fall. The eagerly anticipated near total return of the California rock pioneers follows the blanket success of the group’s sold out spring European and Australian tours which have proven to be a feast of recognition for the legendary musicians. Now, due to unprecedented demand, Kyuss Lives! has announced that they will perform their classic songs in the following North American cities this September/October:

Kyuss Lives! North American live dates:
(** = support from The Sword, MonstrO)
(++ = MonstrO opens, remaining support TBA)
09/16 Toronto, ON The Sound Academy ++
09/17 Guelph, ON Guelph Concert Theatre ++
09/18 Montreal, QC Olympia de Montréal ++
09/20 Worcester, MA The Palladium **
09/21 Philadelphia, PA The Trocadero **
09/23 New York, NY Terminal 5**
09/24 Washington, DC 9:30 Club **
09/25 Asheville, NC The Orange Peel ++
09/26 Atlanta, GA The Masquerade ++
09/28 New Orleans, LA House of Blues ++
09/29 Houston, TX Warehouse Live **
10/01 Austin, TX Stubb’s **
10/02 Dallas, TX South Side Music Hall **
10/04 Denver, CO The Summit Music Hall ++
10/05 Santa Fe, NM Santa Fe Brewing Company **
10/06 Tempe, AZ Marquee Theatre **
10/07 Las Vegas, NV House of Blues **
10/08 Pomona, CA The Fox Theater **

Kyuss Lives! will also perform in Mexico, Chile, Argentina and Brazil in November, 2011. The just-announced dates are as follows:
11/09 Mexico City, Mexico El Circo Volador
11/11 Santiago, Chile Teatro Teleton
11/12 Buenos Aires, Argentina Teatro Colegiales
11/13 Sao Paulo, Brazil Caricoa Club

Moment of clarity: I am a fucking wreck of a human being. Even before I got drunk tonight and wasted the whole evening when I should have been reading stories for workshop on Monday (school, man, school), I was a total mess. Then I hit up a couple bottles of wine with The Patient Mrs., etc., and went outside and fell on the ice and fucked up my hand. It’s been a real shitter of a week. Posts later than I want, missing days of reviews. I’m having a hard time adjusting to the semester. Work, school, this. It’s a lot.

And when that shit piles up I go for comfort. Alfredo for dinner, Kyuss for des(s)ert. It was a long week, and I know next week is going to be a little better, and the one after that a little better, but that doesn’t make this one just finished any less of a pain in the ass. Ah hell, I’ve got it good.

Thanks to everyone for checking in, for scoping the Wino interview, for commenting on whatever you’ve got to talk about, for listening to the Hour of 13 record and so forth. It’s much appreciated. Next week I’ll be posting my Q&A with Dylan Carlson of Earth. We talked a couple weeks back for an hour-plus about the development of his band, the concepts behind their new album, and more. It was a really fascinating conversation, and I’m looking forward to bringing it to you.

So, enjoy the live Kyuss while I finish off the last bit of this wine, and while I’m not going to see The Giraffes tomorrow night for vocalist Aaron Lazar‘s last show with the band at Mercury Lounge because I’m stuck doing story revisions, I will be in front of the computer all weekend and I don’t doubt the forums will provide ample and much-appreciated distraction from responsibilities. Can you believe they expect me to write a masters thesis this semester? Ha!

Enjoy the weekend and be safe.

…This guy.

Okay, so maybe you don’t get the full effect of me pointing to myself with my thumbs while I say the punchline, but I think you get the point. It was eBay, it was seven dollars, and with that now-iconic image of the windmill on the front, there was no way I was going to let this promo single for Kyuss‘ “Demon Cleaner” from 1994’s Welcome to Sky Valley pass me by.

I’m more than willing to grant that buying a single song I already own several times over for seven dollars is just plain silly, but the artwork makes it. It was probably a radio single, because the back says it’s a promo — the “import” retail version was two separate discs; the height of major label B-side/ripoff chicanery was CD singles — and it wouldn’t make any sense for a full jewel case one-track single to have gone to press, even back in the economically roaring ’90s. The track, of course, is one of Kyuss‘ most recognized. In all honesty, there aren’t many situations in which I wouldn’t pay seven dollars to hear it.

And hey, at least it wasn’t the “Green Machine” single that went for $15 with nothing but a sticker with some Kyuss/Faith No More tour dates for a front cover. It’s by no means the least responsible CD-buying expenditure I’ve ever made, even as far as Kyuss goes, so I’m just glad to have the cover to stare at and another Kyuss jewel case to put on my shelf. It’s the little things.

What a question. Understand, I’m not talking about a grouping based on sound. I mean bands from the desert in California. It’s a limited bunch of musicians, centered around a few interconnected acts that have had a tremendous impact on stoner rock the world over. Although I think they’ve made some of the most important contributions to the genre, I’m including no outside bands here. It’s all about location.

Five bands  you need to know, and which album to get. Here goes:

1. Yawning Man: Most often credited as originators of the desert scene, an instrumental trio with Gary Arce, Mario Lalli (also Fatso Jetson) and Alfredo Hernandez (also Kyuss). Their new album, Nomadic Pursuits (review here), is fantastic and a great display of the influence they’ve had on those who’ve followed them, but recommendations for 2005’s Rock Formations are valid.

2. Kyuss: They’re the hallmark act of stoner rock, with import not just limited to the bands former members have launched (Queens of the Stone Age, Unida, Slo Burn, Brant Bjork, Mondo Generator, etc.). Welcome to Sky Valley is an all-time classic. As necessary as oxygen.

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Dear Mr. Homme,

I’d be remiss if I didn’t start off saying thanks for the many years of ass kickery. Having never spoken to you either in-person or via telephone (the closest I’ve yet come was being blown off in 2005), this feels an appropriate avenue to mention that, although there’ve been highs and lows, hard rock probably wouldn’t be the same in 2010 without your having been in it for about two decades now. So yeah, much appreciated.

On to the business at hand: By now I’m sure you’ve seen the video of your former Kyuss cohorts, Nick Oliveri, Brant Bjork and John Garcia playing together at Hellfest in France during a Garcia Plays Kyuss set. If you missed it, here it is:

Pretty badass, I know. Now, the thing of it is, I can’t imagine you haven’t watched that and thought to yourself, perhaps more than ever before, that maybe it’s time to get Kyuss back together. I’m not going to urge you not to do it. Rather, the purpose of this letter is to ask that, if you do decide it’s time for a Kyuss reunion, to do it the right way.

By that I mean no shows. Think of all the reunions going on; bands get back together and they’re all so excited to be playing again — or they’re just doing it for cash — that they book a tour, and yeah, it can be great, but it’s a nostalgic thing. If Kyuss‘ music has proved to be anything, it’s timeless, and to see a reunion come about that’s just based on, “Hey, let’s trot out ‘Allen’s Wrench’ for the folks who didn’t get to see it,” would be disappointing and lame. I think that’s also why it hasn’t happened yet.

That’s not a slag on Garcia Plays Kyuss. I saw them in April and it was great to hear him sing those songs. But if you’re going to revive a band like Kyuss, whose popularity came after their breakup, the way to do it is to put out an album first. I know the music is a lot different, but the best-handled reunion I’ve ever seen was that of Celtic Frost (until it fell apart, anyway). They announced they were back together, and immediately started writing. They took as long as it needed to take to write — in their case it was about five years — and they put out a killer album in Monotheist, and only then did they start booking tours. It was a triumphant return, the shows sold out, the record was great, and most importantly, fans had a context for who Celtic Frost was in the present, instead of who they were when they put out Into the Pandemonium or To Mega Therion.

What I’m saying is, it’s been 13 years since Kyuss ended, and a lot has happened in that time. If you decide to bring Kyuss back, don’t just do it to play the greatest hits, do it as a creative endeavor. That way no one on either side, fan or artist, goes into it thinking things will be just like they were on Blues for the Red Sun, which is a ridiculous expectation but a prevalent one nonetheless. Write first, get Chris Goss to produce, and put out a Kyuss album. Then tour. You’ll find that what Kyuss was is entirely preserved, and what Kyuss is today can honor that while at the same time offer a glimpse of how time has changed you guys as players. As a fan, I just think Kyuss deserves more than the usual “one more go” reunion, and felt compelled to share my thoughts. On the off-chance you see them, thanks for reading.

Sincerely,
Some Dude You’ve Never Heard Of
Heaping Pismire Taskmaster

Desert rock luminary Brant Bjork has been embroiled in a prolific solo career for over a decade now, and with his latest album, Gods and Goddesses (released through his own Low Desert Punk imprint; the reincarnated version of what was once Duna Records), the former Kyuss and Fu Manchu drummer and successful multi-instrumentalist has changed his approach somewhat, focusing on higher production value and a tighter range of execution. In short, he’s gone back to his straightforward rock roots and blended the aesthetics of early ’70s hard rock (Deep Purple, Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, etc.) vinyl releases with his trademark desert approach, incorporating elements of surf, funk, soul and jazz for good measure.

My review of the album is here, so I won’t go on about it, but as someone who’s followed Brant Bjork‘s progression over the course of his solo works, it’s hard not to be excited about the material and dynamics Gods and Goddesses presents. Joining Bjork on the album are bassist and longtime friend Billy Cordell (Yawning Man), guitarist Brandon Henderson and drummer Giampaolo Farnedi, and the unit sound both crisp and organic thanks to the production of Ethan Allen (The 88s, Luscious Jackson), with whom Bjork has, as he explains in the interview, been waiting to work with for years.

He and the band are currently embarked on a European tour that includes a stop at the Roadburn festival in Tilburg, The Netherlands, but before he left, Brant Bjork took some time to discuss over the phone the change in his approach to making records that preceded Gods and Goddesses, founding Low Desert Punk, his time spent living in Spain and much more. Q&A is after the jump. Please enjoy.

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