On their only EP to date, Eibon (Aesthetic Death), the Paris four-piece of the same name craft a brutally sludge-filled sound that runs utterly contradictory to every Francophiliac impression I?ve ever had of their home city. Because they play sludge and because vocalist Georges Balafas is a phlegmy screamer whose voice is well-suited to the lumbering riffs of guitarist Max Hedin, someone is bound to compare them to Eyehategod, but the two tracks included here, ?Asleep and Threatening? and ?Staring at the Abyss,? are far more atmospheric and not nearly as raw-sounding. There?s more happening here than Bower-powered riffs and Southern-fried nihilism.

Each of the two songs is over 10 minutes long, and Eibon gives a credible showing of diversity within the doom/sludge realm. Hedin, bassist St?phane Rivi?re and drummer Jerome Lachaud all used to be in Horrors of the Black Museum, and Balafas? past in Drowning shows through in some of his deeper growls, despite his generally keeping things in a mid-register rasp that comes off like a differently applied version of Darkest Hour?s John Henry?s indecipherability. By that I mean I don?t have a god damn clue what he?s saying, but it sounds like it?s hurting him an awful lot to say it.

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…But when you think about it, is there really such a thing as a bad day for free Clutch? The groovinest Marylanders have an exclusive non-album track called “Metroliner Special” from the Strange Cousins from the West sessions they’ve made available for free download at their website, Pro-Rock.com. I haven’t even had the chance to listen to it yet, but can only imagine it rules, being Clutch and all.

If you didn’t yet, check out The Obelisk‘s interview with guitarist Tim Sult here. Goes great with listening to free goo.

In case you missed the news, Strange Cousins from the West sold 13,000 copies its first week out, which is actually less than 2007’s From Beale Street to Oblivion, which debuted with 15,000. However, because since that time sales in general have continued to suck — plus that whole economy collapsing thing I keep hearing about — the 13,000 was enough to push Clutch into the Billboard Top 40 for the first time in their career at #38!

Congratulations to the band on this new milestone. If only Casey Kasem was still doing Casey’s Top 40 and could introduce the single, “50,000 Unstoppable Watts.” “Here’s a little song about anthrax, ham radio, and liquor…” Awesome.

Blah blah blah, Carcass reunion, blah blah blah. Get to the good part.

The good part was this year at Roadburn when Firebird (yes, and Carcass) guitarist/vocalist Bill Steer — who was apparently sick as hell at the time — started belting out songs through his harmonica, drummer Ludwig Witt and bassist Smok Smoczkiewicz throwing down infectiously grooving rhythms to match every solo, chorus and verse of riffy ’70s guitar rock. Shortly thereafter, with the release of the fifth Firebird record, Grand Union, the band proved the energy they captured on stage they could easily match in the studio, providing fitting covers of Humble Pie and James Taylor alongside original highlights “Jack the Lad” and “Wild Honey” while showing the retro sect there’s more to it than vintage gear and fuzzy promo photos.

Indeed, Grand Union‘s second greatest strength (the first being the songwriting) might be its modern sound. In the digital age of endless recording possibilities, Firebird sound natural, unforced and entirely void of pretense. As ever, the trio executes their material with a keen eye on hard rock’s lineage but both feet planted in the present.

Steer was kind enough to take some time out recently for a phoner to talk about the album, Firebird in general, and his plans for the future, including the revelation (spoiler alert) that he’s joined Gentleman’s Pistols on lead guitar. Enjoy.

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I’d have to go back and check the archives, but I’m relatively certain it was only like three weeks ago that Floorida (get it? Because Steve Brooks used to be in Floor? Ah, screw you guys) doom poppers Torche put out a video for “Across the Shields.” Fine, it was May. Even so, May to July is awfully damn quick for a band to be doing another. Maybe it’s because their songs are short so it doesn’t take much time to shoot them. Probably not.

In any case, here’s Torche‘s new video for “Healer” from the 12″ of the same name and last year’s Meanderthal, directed by David Kleiler, from MTV.com. Enjoy.

NOTE: As I was getting ready to finalize this post, I clicked play on the embedded video and found an ad for some fucking skin cream or something. Simply put, fuck that shit. No way I’m putting a video on my site with a god damn commercial in it that I’m not getting paid for. That’s called being a sucker. Bad enough MTV would put an ad in front of a video for a two-minute song, but then to expect other people to host it too? Get fucking real. Soon as “Healer” hits YouTube or somewhere that isn’t going to try and sell me something to get rid of pubescent acne, I’ll host it. Meantime, the video’s on the MTV site if you want to go find it. You’ll get no link from me.

Here’s a live version of the song instead:

If this is the kind of hateful madness that being in a suckfest band like Five Pointe O inspires, then maybe those one-time Roadrunner Records commerce rock non-priorities served a purpose after all. Bassist Sean Pavey leaves his common denominator past behind him with his new four-piece, Blackbeard, making up for lost time with nasty sludge and sandpaper-grade audio abrasion on the inevitable self-released EP, That’s Why They Call it Dying…, and though I’m not one for ending titles with ellipses, two minutes into opener “Breath of Life/Life’s End” and any and all punctuational grievances are moot. All that’s left is heavy.

You’ll note the part above where it says “sludge.” The thing about that is sludge is, by and large, pretty predictable when it comes to metallic subgenres. It’s usually slow, thick, underproduced and topped off with visceral screams. On that level, these Joliet, Illinois, locals don’t disappoint. That’s Why They Call it Dying… varies the pace of its attack, but the attack is still basically in line with expectation. Doesn’t take away from the immediacy of the songs or the effectiveness of the slowed-down mosh riffs of “Kidney Stoned” or “The Peasant Song,” the latter of which shows a Pantera influence not only in Robert Hughes‘ throat-stinging vocals, but also in the riffs of guitarist John Foster and the alternate time kept by drummer Dan Snodgrass. For his part, Pavey is appropriately rumbling throughout, coming to the surface to introduce a masterful Sleep riff on “The Reckoning” before diving back under the surface of the song to make room for the guitar.

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A little while back, I did a, “Hey check it out” type thing on Croatian doomers Good Day to Die. Well, since I just came across the more stonerly Stonebride, who hail from the same city (Zagreb), it seems only fitting that I do the same for them. Helps that they’re pretty good. Their latest record, Inner Seasons, came out last year. Someone out there needs to educate me. Is there a Zagreb scene? Does it rule? Were they jamming out to Sky Valley at roof parties on top of Zagrep?anka in ’94? One can only hope.

While I’m doing research (read: “dicking around on band websites”) , enjoy this Stonebride video from this year’s Stoned from the Underground fest in Deutscheland. When you’re done with that, hop over to their MySpace page and get a taste of “Moonrider.” It’s awfully tasty for a song with such a cornball name.

Though anytime I’m standing on the island of Manhattan, my mind automatically maps out the best possible route to Generation Records, the conditions that had me there yesterday — those being a day in the city with The Patient Mrs., as though an afternoon with my grumpy, lumbering ass is some kind of reward or break for her — prohibited it. A compromise in my head was a quick stop at Academy on 18th St., which I have it on good (and confidential) authority is where Spin sells their unwanted promos. I was hoping to catch an advance copy of that Six Organs of Admittance record I found out about the other night, and thankfully, she acquiesced.

No such luck on the Six Organs, but the thing about Academy is there’s always something in there, and apart from rarities, it’s all priced used. They’ve reorganized somewhat, splitting their CDs by genre in addition to alphabet, which is probably a good move in the long run if more of a pain in the ass to maintain. Flipping through the wares, I picked up the Neurot reissue of Tribes of Neurot‘s Adaptation and Survival insect experiment, the fancypants edition of the last Opeth record, which, boring though it was once past its novelty, is still Opeth, Prometheus by Emperor, and an accidental second copy of Dopesmoker. It’s the Music Cartel issue of Jerusalem I wanted. This was the Tee Pee digipak, which I already own. Easy mistake. Honestly I’m surprised it hasn’t happened before and wouldn’t be surprised if it happened again. Damn Sleep for being so desirable.

More of a surprise, however, was a brand new, still wrapped copy of Shaving the Angel by Midnite Snake on Birdman Records, which I’ve been eying over that the All That is Heavy webstore for some time now — and not just for the mammary-inclusive cover art, provocative though it is. The Pittsburgh instrumental trio play a San Franciscan freak rock that’s downright abrasive at times and alternates between tripping balls psychedelia and speed-fueled riffing. Oh yeah, then they have “Supermodifed,” which is a 25-minute cycle through what I can only assume is an avant stoner interpretation of how Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory might have turned out had Charlie gone to Slugworth‘s instead. Whether you’re putting a “d” or a “v” in between your “hea” and your “y,” you’re right.

I probably wouldn’t have bought it had I not encountered it in person, or at least not until I purchased every other wish list entry and impulse buy (which might as well be never at this rate), so for me, Midnite Snake was the find of the day. I’m pretty sure I won’t listen to it on repeat for the rest of my life, but when they finally show up to film that? remake of Beyond the Valley of the Dolls in my living room, I’ve got the soundtrack cued up and ready to go, and finding it only caused the slightest blemish on the whole “time together” thing. Everyone wins.

In a pairing that can only lead to good things, Californian desert rockers House of Broken Promises have signed to Small Stone Records for the release of their debut full-length, Using the Useless. Here’s the news as it appeared on StonerRock.com, saying pretty much exactly what I just said:

House of Broken Promises consists of Arthur Seay, Mike Cancino, Eddie Plascencia (all 3/4`s of the famed Unida band). HOBP`s Small Stone debut Using The Useless will be hitting store shelves this fall, and the band will be touring Europe in November in support of this release. Perhaps a stop at SXSW 2010 is in the cards as well. More to come very soon, including, bios, photos, lies, and other modern day propaganda…

I interviewed Seay years ago back in my excitable college radio days, but of course, didn’t tape it. Shit happens. He was a cool guy then, pretty clearly stoned, and his band’s demo ruled. Looking forward to the album. In other news, VALIS side-project All Time High also joined the Small Stone roster. Dig it:

All Time High is led by Adrian Makins (current VALIS low end man), and also features Steven Brown, Samuel Williams, and Matt Vandenberghe (also from VALIS). So, you get 50 percent of VALIS for the same low price… Oddly enough, we had only heard of the band`s name, but it was not until Van Conner turned in the audio master for his Northwest Mind Meld comp [review here for curious parties] a few months ago that we finally got to hear their music. We dug it, and we hope you do as well. The band`s debut album, Friends in High Places, will be out as soon as we get it remastered and make some art tweaks. If you are overly curious or just a self starter, head on over to iTunes or eMusic and check out the All Time High song “Steel Sunshine”… It is what sold us!