The Obelisk Questionnaire: Balmer from Hiram-Maxim
The Obelisk Questionnaire is a series of open questions intended to give the answerer an opportunity to explore these ideas and stories from their life as deeply as they choose. Answers can be short or long, and that reveals something in itself, but the most important factor is honesty.
Based on the Proust Questionnaire, the goal over time is to show a diverse range of perspectives as those who take part bring their own points of view to answering the same questions. To see all The Obelisk Questionnaire posts, click here.
Thank you for reading and thanks to all who participate.
The Obelisk Questionnaire: Balmer from Hiram-Maxim
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How do you define what you do and how did you come to do it?
My dating profile says “Piercer by day; Keytar demon by night”, which is pretty accurate but also a little too specific. In reality, I just can’t help but apply a reeeaaal thick layer of my personality to whatever I can get my hands on. Sometimes it’s a musical thing or a silly lil outfit. Sometimes I’m literally smearing fake blood on the bathroom mirror. It’s like I’m just out here walkin around with sticky fingers touchin everything, makin it sticky (or in some cases, bloody). I’ve been this way since I was beamed onto this planet; these things are almost compulsive for me. But to be more specific, I’ve been playin music for about 18 years, prop-making and special FX makeup for about 10, and piercing for 3 years and I came to do them because I… felt like it?
Describe your first musical memory.
When I was growin up, it was still pretty uncommon for people to have a decent stereo setup in their homes. Most-a my friends were still rockin battery-operated boomboxes. My father (who probably considered himself an audiophile, but was more like the shoulda-left-the-fringe-jacket-back-in-the-80s, mullet-wearin type) had a pretty decent set of speakers in the living room, so I spent my whole childhood believing his favorite 90’s/early 2000’s nu-metal bands were, like, GOD-tier compared to the other music I was hearin on whatever shitty speakers I’d heard it on. These days the phones in our pockets probably have better speakers than the ones my dad garbage-picked, and it turns out there’s a whole universe of music better than nu-metal. No offense nu-metal fans.
Describe your best musical memory to date.
I’m happy to say that I have experienced many a musical high in my life. It’s a dragon I think all musical humans are familiar with chasing. I have a recent favorite from a drag show here in Cleveland: Intermission had just ended and the host was gettin everybody geared up for the second half of the show. However, when the next performer was called… they didn’t show up. Time to stall. The host called on me in the audience and asked what song I’d do if I were performing next. I scanned my drag playlist in my head and called out “I dunno, probably something by Oingo Boingo”. Without skipping a beat, the DJ called up “Weird Science” and the crowd parted around me, more or less insisting that I dance. So I did. Surrounded by all my beautiful queer friends. Being showered in dollar bills. Dancing to a song I didn’t write at a show I wasn’t meant to perform at. Funny thing is that song has been on my drag playlist for ages, but I’ve never performed it because the lyrics are too tricky.
When was a time when a firmly held belief was tested?
I was wonderin if I was gonna make it thru this questionnaire without talkin about being trans. Here we go: My journey on the yellow brick road of queerness has not been a linear one. I know today that I exist in the gray area in between/adjacent to the L and G and B and all the other letters, but that wasn’t always so clear to me. Every time I learned somethin more about who I wasn’t, I’d be that much more desperate to declare who I was. So I tried on a whole lotta titles, claimed numerous sexualities n genders, and ultimately wound up “coming out” as about a million things before I found a few that felt right. This meant admitting I was wrong about myself over n over, but it’s also what lead me to be the most authentic version of myself I’ve known to date.
Where do you feel artistic progression leads?
I feel like progress (particularly in creative pursuits) can be quite elusive. Sometimes it’s a one-step-forward-two-steps-back kind-a ordeal. Sometimes it just leads ya in circles and brings ya right back to where ya started. So I guess I’d say artistic progression can lead just about anywhere but also nowhere over and over. If you’re lucky, the trip’s enjoyable more often than it sucks.
How do you define success?
Success in creative endeavors is pretty tough to define. Presenting something to other humans and receiving positive feedback can be considered a success. Creating something that communicates exactly the message you wanted to? Sure. I know there are a lotta humans out there that quantify success in dollars as well. At the end of the day, I feel like artistic pursuits rarely reward us for our efforts, so it’s important to loosely interpret words like “success” and allow one’s self as many victories as possible.
What is something you have seen that you wish you hadn’t?
I feel like this one has the potential to be really grim, so I’m gonna keep it light. My first apartment was across the street from where my mom lived. I woke up one mornin (Mother’s Day? Easter?) n thought it might be cute to bring my pet rabbits over to the house to say hi. Anyway I throw on a pair of slippers n head across the street with these bunnies up under each of my arms like two little footballs. I go inside. I’m sure you’ve guessed it by now: my stepdad’s fucking my mom. And I’m just standin in the doorway, horrified, with these two rabbits. They too lost their innocence that day. Definitely wish I hadn’t seen that.
Describe something you haven’t created yet that you’d like to create.
I’ve always wanted to buy a house so I can build a bunch-a tunnels n passages between the rooms for my cats to run around in. Y’know, like little bridges n stuff.
What do you believe is the most essential function of art?
For me, art is a verb that describes all the ways in which I feel compelled to appease my own personal Mental Health Gods. It’s a way to open up my skull n let the bees out, y’know? Playin a lil song always gives me a good brain squeeze, but sometimes (a lot of the time), stickin a rusty nail in a barbie doll’s temple gets the job done. It’s all artful and it all serves the function of making sense of the messy emotions we all deal with.
Something non-musical that you’re looking forward to?
Honestly I’m just lookin forward to corndogs and funnel cakes at the drive-in next spring.
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