Whatever points I’d take away from Missouri stompers ((Thorlock)) for their extraneous use of parentheses — damn that SunnO))) precedent! — I’d have to give right back for what’s in between them. Think about it, can you come up with a better band name than one combining the Norse god Thor and a warlock? I know I certainly can’t. You’d pretty much have to figure that if there was a thorlock walking around he’d have an awesome beard. So be it.

((Thorlock)) play a kind of Southbound stoner-doomly fuckyouupcore that only Bulletwolf do more drunkenly and Orange Goblin mastered on their last album, Healing through Fire. There’s some Melvins crunch to be had as well, but if their self-titled, self-released full-length is any indicator, ((Thorlock)) have two main modes in which they operate: a straightforward aggressive rock that calls to mind adjectival phrases like “whiskey-fueled” and “balls out” — as heard on “Man Will Lose,” “Triceratops” and elsewhere — and a full-on feedback shitstorm that only appears twice, on “Mississippi Wheelwash” and closer “Beyond Cosmic Dimensions.”

Both songs are upwards of 18 minutes long, and the former devolves into a jam led by the rhythm section of drummer Josh and bassist Luke while Shiv‘s guitar emits pulsing waves that test the limits of endurance and decency. “Beyond Cosmic Dimensions,” at a paltry 17:43, features about seven minutes solid of guitar noise. Very doom, very underground, very cool idea, very hard to sit through. These things are often a trade off.

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When first I laid eyes on The Wizar’d‘s Follow the Wizard EP on the “New in Stock” shelf at Vintage Vinyl down the Parkway, I knew immediately it was a doom record and I knew immediately it was one I needed to own. I bought it solely based on the name, knowing nothing about the Tasmanian band or their sound. Nearly three years later, I have no regrets, especially now that I’ve gotten ahold of a copy of the follow-up full-length (there were a 7″, a live record and another EP in between), Infernal Wizardry (Rusty Axe Records).

Next time you?re sitting around, caking on your mother?s cold cream and PhotoShopping yourself into stock photos of blackened forests, just remember that no matter who you are, The Wizar?d is more underground, more cult and truer than you?ll ever be. Fronted by guitarist/vocalist Ol? Rusty Vintage Wizard Master, these practitioners of the dark riff are emasculatingly heavy, playing raw, Sabbathian purple and black tape-hiss doom and offering no solace or escape in either sound quality or pace. Shades of early Penance creep into some of the guitars, but Infernal Wizardry is excruciatingly slow and paralyzingly grim.

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