…It’s fake and it sucks.

That’s pretty much what there is to say about it. I’ve seen a couple people this morning post about what alleges itself as a new Kyuss song — it would be the first from the desert rock progenitors since their Man’s Ruin Records split passed the torch to Queens of the Stone Age in 1997 (discussed here) — and frankly, if such a thing were to really happen, if some incarnation or other of Kyuss reformed, I would hope the algorithm that’s been tracking my every digital and physical movement for the last decade and a half would know by now that’s something I want to be in the loop about. But no, Kyuss aren’t back together. It’s AI, or something close to it, and the track, “Game Over,” sounds nothing like Kyuss. It’s instrumental — which would be possible but unlikely for a “we’re back” first song to reestablish the band who very much had a singer in John Garcia — and it’s metal. So yes, it’s fake and it sucks.

There’s little question that a Kyuss reunion would be mostly welcomed. In 2010, Garcia began touring the band’s classic material under the name Garcia Plays Kyuss, which evolved into Kyuss Lives! and Vista Chino, who to-date remain as close as the band has come to getting back together. Garcia, bassist Nick Oliveri (who was eventually replaced in Vista Chino by Mike Dean of C.O.C.) and drummer Brant Bjork, as well as European ringer guitarist Bruno Fevery, explored both the Kyuss legacy and where it might go in moving forward with new ideas and styles, but without original guitarist Josh Homme involved — which he clearly wasn’t going to be since he sued the band for using the Kyuss name in the first place, forcing their hand to change to Vista Chino — they didn’t get the attention they deserved and the project fizzled after one album, 2013’s Peace (discussed here, review here). That record was awesome, and did what it set out to do, but the lawsuit was kind of an unfortunate addendum to one of the greatest legacies in underground heavy rock. As with Kyuss‘ original four-LP run, Vista Chino left a lot on the table in terms of what could’ve been.

If Kyuss-proper were ever to return — and I wouldn’t hold my breath until Queens of the Stone Age are absolutely void of any commercial potential whatsoever, whatever platitudes might be offered in the meantime — I would certainly hope they’d do it with something better than “Game Over.” Of course, Oliveri and Bjork collaborated in recent years in Stöner, and Garcia has woven through a number of projects and solo outings — Hermano are about to release an EP with their first new material since 2007; it’s out Friday on Ripple Music — and Homme built Queens of the Stone Age into a powerhouse of influence and a figurehead outfit in the greater sphere of rock music. The legend of Kyuss, of records like Blues for the Red Sun and Sky Valley (yes, officially it’s self-titled; thank you), deserves better than to be the subject of a stupid AI trolling, but honestly, I’m not sure why it would be exempt when nothing else is.

But the bottom line either way is about five seconds into the song, you know it’s a fake, so if I just saved you hearing it, so much the better. If you’re curious and want to check out what an artificial intelligence that clearly needs to listen to more actual-Kyuss came up with to represent the band, it’s below. I don’t recommend it, but there you have it.

Thanks for reading.