Back in December, when I had income I could at least vaguely argue was disposable (kind of hard to justify spending your unemployment check on stoner rock CDs to your wife, in case you’ve never tried), I treated myself to buying an album which I’d been trying to track down for some time; Greenleaf’s Revolution Rock on Molten Universe, released in 2001 and featuring members of Swedish stoner legends Dozer and Demon Cleaner.

It was a hard fight to even find it. I scoured websites the world over and even then, it was only on Amazon.de that I found it, not even Amazon.com. After watching the price bobble up and down for a couple days because of the exchange rates, I decided the time was now. It cost over $40 US.

The other day I got this in my email:

“Der folgende Titel ist leider nicht lieferbar:

Greenleaf “Revolution Rock” [Audio CD]”

If you were to categorize mathematically the amount of German I speak, you’d be well into the negative numbers, but I know the word “Nicht” means “No” from watching Bruno on Da Ali G Show, and I’d already gotten two emails telling me the order was delayed, so I had a pretty good idea of what the news was.

Sure enough, the translation: “Unfortunately, the following title is not available.”

It wasn’t the first time I’d been shot down for the record. It is the first of the supergroup’s three albums thus far (preceded by a self-titled EP), and a couple months before, I’d managed to track a copy down at the Swedish mailorder bride site Hotstuff.se and put in a purchase for it, an Ufomammut reissue, the self-titled Warhorse record and Trouble‘s still-unreleased-in-the-US Simple Mind Condition, only to receive the package several weeks later conspicuously missing Revolution Rock. The Trouble CD wasn’t in there either, but I’ll get to that another time.

So at this point I’m pretty well convinced the record doesn’t exist and was just made up as a way of torturing me. Like someone sat Greenleaf down in a smoke-filled room (it would have to be) and said, “Okay guys, here’s what we’re gonna do…” If I had any ex-girlfriends, I’d definitely get drunk and call them to find out if they’re behind it. Either that, or there are only seven copies in existence and they’re being horded by Gorlackt, a vindictive bridge troll, somewhere in the Finnish countryside. In either case, not on my shelf or in my player. Thus the problem.

I check eBay daily if not more than once a day, as well as its international sister sites. Same for Amazon, and I’ve even taken to Gemm.com, despite their ridiculous listing prices. All fruitless. The vinyl is available, but I’ve committed to a CD collection, and if I start buying vinyl now, I’m the kind of guy who would have to go back and buy every single CD he gives a shit about on LP. And while that sounds like a lot of fun, I have neither the money nor the time to do it. CDs it is. I have enough trouble storing jewel cases, let alone those huge, glorious albums with awesome covers and gleaming vinyl discs —

Never mind.

Of course, this is 2009 — the god damned future! — I could just download the album and be done with it. Regular Google searches reveal a host of Blogspot sites that allegedly have it posted, but I’m too old (school) for that shit. Downloading records was cool back around the turn of the century, when Napster was free and it was just nerds and Mp3 scenesters ripping and uploading albums. Nowadays Axl Rose will come to your house and kick your ass. Plus, to be able to hold the case in my hands — the physical product — after looking for so long; that’s worth whatever the asking price may be.

That doesn’t do me any good if no one’s doing the asking, though. The search continues. Thanks a lot, Amazon Deutschland.

Greenleaf MySpace page

Molten Universe MySpace page

Tags: Greenleaf, Molten Universe, Record Shopping, Sweden

This entry was posted on Monday, February 9th, 2009 at 11:20 pm and is filed under Whathaveyou. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.